How to Protect Yourself from Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is all physical, psychological and sexual threats, harassment and violence between two people who are bound by personal relationships or to other family members. Domestic violence perpetrators can also be ex-spouses even though they have separated.

All people have the opportunity to become perpetrators or victims of domestic violence. But in fact, most victims of domestic violence are women. Some even occur since a pregnant woman. Understanding the root causes of domestic violence and the signs can help you overcome and support you when you experience violence.

On the other hand, although it is considered a stronger party, violence can also be experienced by men, especially men who are in same-sex relationships. This situation can also be more difficult for men because they do not want to be called weaker than their partners.

Domestic violence is also not uncommon for transgender, bisexual, and lesbian people. The perpetrators of violence against these groups often convince their victims that the police will not help someone who likes same-sex, or they can threaten to spread the victim's sexual orientation to others.

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How can domestic violence be detected?

Sometimes when you are a sufferer of violence, it is hard to identify signs of domestic violence. Even after all the bad treatment, you still love your partner. It makes you trapped in denial. Here are some warning signs of domestic violence that you might feel:
  1. Afraid or anxious about your partner
  2. Always obey your partner's words
  3. Often confide in your partner's irritable or possessive nature
  4. Often injured by the reasons for the accident
  5. Often absent from work, school, or social activities
  6. Limited from meeting family and friends
  7. Have limited access to money or other property
  8. Depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts
  9. Changes in personality or self-confidence.
Physical violence such as punches, kicks, slaps, strangulation is the most easily detected form of domestic violence. In addition to physical abuse, domestic violence can be reflected if someone is treated as follows:
  1. Called with a condescending designation
  2. Prohibited from working or school
  3. Prohibited from meeting other family members
  4. Prohibited to use the money for personal gain or is very inadequate in financial management
  5. Not trust in doing anything, pretty poor in socializing
  6. Got a threat with weapons
  7. Forced to commit sexual acts
  8. Scapegoated for all the violence committed by their partners
Detecting and acknowledging the existence of domestic violence is indeed not easy. However, remember the help and support needed will always be there. Immediately report acts of violence experienced by relatives, family, or directly to the authorities.


Types of Domestic Violence.

Domestic violence is not only physical but also psychological and sexual which can occur continuously. The threat of death is the highest risk that can arise if domestic violence is not ended.

Signs due to physical violence in the household can be very real, for example in the form of wounds and bruises. But psychological violence can only be felt by victims, such as stress and depression.

A woman may not know that she is experiencing domestic violence. Check the following signs to find out if you have experienced or are experiencing domestic violence.

1. Emotional violence:

  1. Couples criticize or insult you in public.
  2. Couples blame you for their rude behavior and say you deserve it.
  3. You often feel afraid of your partner.
  4. You change certain habits or behaviors to avoid angry couples.
  5. The couple prohibits you from working or continuing your studies.
  6. Couples forbid you to meet family or friends.
  7. Couples accuse you of having an affair and are always suspicious if you look close or talk to other people.
  8. Couples are always hungry for attention for irrational reasons.
Intimidation and threats:
  1. A couple has dumped or destroyed your property.
  2. Couples keep following and want to know your whereabouts.
  3. The couple threatens to kill himself or kill your child.
  4. Couples always check your personal items, read short messages and your e-mail.
  5. The clothes you wear or the food you consume are controlled by them.
  6. Couples limit the money you hold so you cannot buy important needs for yourself and children.
  7. Religion abuse, physical disability, lack of ethnicity, race or social strata can also be categorized as domestic violence.

2. Physical abuse:

  1. Couples beat, slap, kick, strangle, pull hair, and even burn your body parts and/or your child.
  2. Tie you or lock you in the house.
  3. Addiction to alcoholic beverages and/or drugs, and behave rudely after consuming these substances.

3. Sexual violence:

  1. Couples force you to do something you don't want to do, including sexual intercourse.
  2. Couples touch your sensitive limbs in an inappropriate way.
  3. Couples hurt you during sexual intercourse.
  4. Couples force you to have sex with other people.
  5. Couples force you not to wear condoms or other contraceptives.
Generally, after committing domestic violence, your partner may apologize and promise not to repeat his mistakes, even give gifts to make up for his guilt. But in fact, domestic violence continues to recur.

How to Protect Yourself from Domestic Violence?

Attempts to get out of violent relationships are often not easy. Financial dependence can make women often survive in this dangerous situation. Husbands also often don't want their wives to take their children away. Violent actors know how to control and manipulate you. 

If someone else is involved and he cannot control, he can begin to feel powerless. Maybe you better contact a doctor, sometimes doctors can give you references to the right support group with experience with domestic violence. You can meet victims of violence in other households to exchange stories and support.

Don't try to fight your partner alone. It will only worsen your situation. You can tell your close friends first. They can give you support and instructions for what you have to do. Remember that you are not alone.

Friends and family will help you to stay safe. Don't avoid them. You might not feel you are in an unhealthy relationship, but if some of your friends or family tell you, you might be able to think about it. Your security is especially important.

The longer you stay in a situation of domestic violence, the higher the danger that threatens. Not only to yourself but also to your children.  If you need to get out of life among violence and pressure immediately, here are the steps that can be a guide: Tell your condition to the closest person you can trust. Make sure the offender is not around when you inform this.
  1. Record your injuries with a camera. Save carefully.
  2. Note the violent behavior you received and the time it occurred.
  3. Avoid fighting violence with violence, because it risks making actors act more extreme
If you are ready to leave home: 
  1. Prepare a bag containing all your valuable needs. Bring along valuable personal documents, such as identity cards, money, and drugs. Place the bag in a safe and hidden place.
  2. Use new numbers or communication devices to communicate. Likewise with computers and your electronic mail. Change keywords to enter your e-mail and delete information wherever you can surf the internet.
  3. Find out exactly where you are going to, and how to reach the location. It will help anyone who helps you will quickly find your place.
Domestic violence may only afflict one partner and does not occur in children, children who witness domestic violence risk growing into violent individuals. Children who often witness violence are also at risk of experiencing psychological disorders, aggressive behavior, and low self-esteem.


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